In class on Sunday morning, the first topic of discusion was on how do we get members at church to really know each other. Dr. Henderson said there was a sister in our congregation who dealt with an alcohol addiction. For many years, she struggled with this, went to AA meetings, but no one in her church family knew about her addiction. Someone made the comment, that some people just won't open up and share their intimate details or struggles with others. As I agree with this, I wonder if there is more to it. I sat there listening to all this and other comments, I kept thinking of one of my favorite shows, Desperate Housewives. Yes, I am a little ashamed to admit it, but it is a guilty pleasure of mine. In fact, my husband, trying to be funny, calls me a desperate housewife at times. What I have gained from watching that show and the whole concept of what a "desperate housewife" means is that its about wanting to be the perfect housewife; to have the perfect marriage, family, house, and be able to juggle anything and everything thrown her way. She wants to look like she has it all together, completely flawless, when in all actuality, she has so many problems within her marriage, with her kids, and with herself. She is trying to cover up and hide anything that others may see as a failure. Bri, out of the four women on the show, is notorious for wanting to be perfect. This season for Desperate Housewives is its last one, and Bri, throughout the show, has had multiple husbands and lovers, as well as two children, and is considered to be a "Christian" housewife with strong Godly morals, but here at the end has now attempted suicide as she has no spouse, no lover, no family around her, and even her three best friends want nothing to do with her. So I bring up desperate housewives, because, on a smaller scale, I wonder if this is reality for a lot of woman, and maybe men too, and maybe the reason why the church is not so close and open with each other. Maybe we are too worried about others judging us and our reputations. We have no problem trying to reach out to others and be open with them about their problems, but are we all really open and translucent about ourselves with our church family?
I'll just go ahead and admit it myself, in that I do want to look like I have it all together and that I can handle anything that flies my way. I have prided myself for being raised to be very independent and I like to prove to myself that I can "do it all". But, is that really true, for anyone? I can't do it all, and I don't think anyone can do it all. We are human and we are naturally going to mess up and need help.
So how do we change this way of thinking? Who makes the first step to being completely open, even sharing our struggles that makes us look weak and sinful? I meet with a small group of women about 1-2 times a month. We discuss a book that we are reading at the present time, and wrap it up with prayer requests that we have for others. I was thinking that even with this intimate group of women, I'm not sure if we really share our problems, that we are not proud of, with each other. So, how do we open up to people? Who admits first when their actions are ugly and detestable? Who will look weak first and be vulnerable? Who is willing to not care what others think of themselves?
Isn't Jesus our perfect example? Not only did he leave his comfortable homeland surroundings and immediate family, but he went everywhere preaching about God and fulfilling the Word all along knowing that the pharisees and scribes were scheming against him and saying false things about him,
"But the Pharisees went out and conspired against him, how to destroy him,"(Mt 12:14), and "the scribes and Pharisees began to press him hard and to provoke him to speak about many things, lying in wait for him, to catch him in something he might say." (Luke 11:53-54), and "...they ridiculed him." (Luke 16:14).He still spoke what was true, despite worrying about his reputation and being 'liked' by the majority. He could have come down and been worshipped like an earthly king and enjoy the luxuries of earth, (although pretty sure nothing down here compares to up there), but He chose to give all of that up for the cross, for you and me. Phillipians 2:7 says, "he made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men." And on that cross, does it not show the ultimate humility and selflessness of Jesus? Not wanting to overlook the pain and agony of being on the cross, but can you imagine the embarrassement, if that word can even begin to describe, what it would be like to be naked, scorned, mocked, and forsaken on the cross in front of the whole world.
"I gave my back to those who strike, and my cheeks to those who pull out the beard; I hid not my face from disgrace and spitting," (Isaiah 50:6).
"But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by mankind and despised by the people. All who see me mock me; they make mouths at me; they wag their heads... I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint; my heart is like wax; it is melted within my breast; my strength is dried up like a potsherd, and my tongue sticks to my jaws; you lay me in the dust of death. For dogs encompass me; a company of evildoers encircles me; they have pierced my hands and feet, I can count all my bones, they stare and gloat over me; they divide my garments among them, and for my clothing they cast lots," (Psalm 22: 6-7, 14-18).Before going to the cross, Mark tells us the soldiers
"clothed Him in a purple cloak, and twisting together a crown of thorns, they put it on him. And they began to salute him, 'Hail, King of the Jews!' And they were striking his head with a reed and spitting on him and kneeling down in homage to him. And when they had mocked him, they stripped him of the purple cloak and put his own clothes on him. And they led him out to crucify him." (15:17-20).Wow! When I think about that, then why do I worry so much what others think. Yes, sin is embarrassing and makes us look bad, but when it comes to my Christian family, if I need help, should I not be able to open up to the family that loves me the most and can pray and help me with my weaknesses? Would it make it easy for others to share their problems if they see others sharing?
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